Right Between the Eyes
Have you walked through life pretty much unaware of the sufferings, trials, and tribulations of your fellow man? Now, I'm not talking about being one those of us who are completely detached from mankind (and we know who we are...or do we?), but rather a pretty sympathetic person who enjoys life who can see the pain of others but just kind of walks along their merry cobbled path lined with red roses of colored glasses, surrounding themselves with supportive people, doing their own thing in life.
An image of a strong work horse comes to mind, plowing the fields, with blinders on, knowing that snakes, coyotes, wolves, and the such exist, but paying no mental mind to them, only seeing what is their frontal sights, their chosen view. And then they turn there head, in their happy little existence of viewing only the path of self, and oh man, didn't see that danger, or reality, coming. Getting caught off guard thinking, "won't happen to me", just happened to them.
I walk my narrow road of living in reality, embracing the pain of others, but as Frost wrote, keeping my fences, keeping my boundaries, and always feeling, "it won't happen to me", wearing my blinders, like the horse, with pride. And then something sneaks in behind my blinder, catching me off guard, hitting me between the eyes, rattling the pretty purple fences of my life. And the old habits and patterns of my primitive self erupt throughout the grayness of my brain and seep their poisonous drops of emotions into the blood that flows into the deep parts of my soul, embracing the fear and uncertainty that rocks the foundation of my reality, of my self, and of those I love and the life God has blessed me with.
And that old question of why, that has no real meaning but to keep me trapped in the unknown of my past, rumbles through my brain. And in all that, I choose to embrace God over me. I ask not why but instead, why not. And in that freeing from pain statement, I can open myself up to embrace my Savior once again, and come to the realization that yes, it sucks, but no, God doesn't, and I can once again rest in His serenity, the very essence and goal of my existence.
Now, my friend and reader, I do not intend to come off as pompous, arrogant, or all knowing, for I am certainly not. In the greater than past 4 decades of my journey on this planet, I have spent more time in the muck and mire than in the warmth and comfort of my Savior. That's not to say that I haven't been aware of my God longer, just willing to be submissive shorter.
When life hits us between the eyes as it most assuredly will, the real question is how will you manage it? Notice, I didn't write how will you control or handle it (manage is much more gentle to my mind). Will you embrace the travels of why or will you embrace the arms of God? Will you yell and scream (more than temporarily - which I think is ok) your remaining days? Or will you tell yourself, "Why not me...what makes me immune...why not me?". Will you lash out at God or embrace Him, looking at life and struggles as a teacher? James suggests we find joy in our struggles. My pastor once told me, "I can find joy after the struggles but it's sure hard to find joy while I'm in the struggles (my paraphrasing him)"...and so right is he.
I don't write about guilt, shame, right or wrong, but more of how will you chose to embrace the pains of life, the struggles of our blinded paths, the quakes that bend our fences, the turmoils of your emotions? These very choices are the power that God has given us from birth, to determine the direction of our minds and choose the paths we will walk. Frankl found meaning in a Nazi concentration camp, my grandmother found her God and resulting peace in the poverty, hatred, and pain of an Indian Reservation, my father found love in the heart and soul of a woman from a culture that despised and confined him, and I, I've found my purpose through exploring my death in the eyes of my Savior.
I have chosen to look into the eyes of love that look back at me from my wife and children, into the soul where my God rests, and into the joys of my life, choosing to live and not survive, as life hits me with her 2x4, right between the eyes. I encourage you, my reader and friend, to find the God who has created you, to chose to walk the path that is quite narrow but so much more full of love and passion and empathy and understanding, when life hits you between the eyes. Live life and leave the surviving to others.
An image of a strong work horse comes to mind, plowing the fields, with blinders on, knowing that snakes, coyotes, wolves, and the such exist, but paying no mental mind to them, only seeing what is their frontal sights, their chosen view. And then they turn there head, in their happy little existence of viewing only the path of self, and oh man, didn't see that danger, or reality, coming. Getting caught off guard thinking, "won't happen to me", just happened to them.
I walk my narrow road of living in reality, embracing the pain of others, but as Frost wrote, keeping my fences, keeping my boundaries, and always feeling, "it won't happen to me", wearing my blinders, like the horse, with pride. And then something sneaks in behind my blinder, catching me off guard, hitting me between the eyes, rattling the pretty purple fences of my life. And the old habits and patterns of my primitive self erupt throughout the grayness of my brain and seep their poisonous drops of emotions into the blood that flows into the deep parts of my soul, embracing the fear and uncertainty that rocks the foundation of my reality, of my self, and of those I love and the life God has blessed me with.
And that old question of why, that has no real meaning but to keep me trapped in the unknown of my past, rumbles through my brain. And in all that, I choose to embrace God over me. I ask not why but instead, why not. And in that freeing from pain statement, I can open myself up to embrace my Savior once again, and come to the realization that yes, it sucks, but no, God doesn't, and I can once again rest in His serenity, the very essence and goal of my existence.
Now, my friend and reader, I do not intend to come off as pompous, arrogant, or all knowing, for I am certainly not. In the greater than past 4 decades of my journey on this planet, I have spent more time in the muck and mire than in the warmth and comfort of my Savior. That's not to say that I haven't been aware of my God longer, just willing to be submissive shorter.
When life hits us between the eyes as it most assuredly will, the real question is how will you manage it? Notice, I didn't write how will you control or handle it (manage is much more gentle to my mind). Will you embrace the travels of why or will you embrace the arms of God? Will you yell and scream (more than temporarily - which I think is ok) your remaining days? Or will you tell yourself, "Why not me...what makes me immune...why not me?". Will you lash out at God or embrace Him, looking at life and struggles as a teacher? James suggests we find joy in our struggles. My pastor once told me, "I can find joy after the struggles but it's sure hard to find joy while I'm in the struggles (my paraphrasing him)"...and so right is he.
I don't write about guilt, shame, right or wrong, but more of how will you chose to embrace the pains of life, the struggles of our blinded paths, the quakes that bend our fences, the turmoils of your emotions? These very choices are the power that God has given us from birth, to determine the direction of our minds and choose the paths we will walk. Frankl found meaning in a Nazi concentration camp, my grandmother found her God and resulting peace in the poverty, hatred, and pain of an Indian Reservation, my father found love in the heart and soul of a woman from a culture that despised and confined him, and I, I've found my purpose through exploring my death in the eyes of my Savior.
I have chosen to look into the eyes of love that look back at me from my wife and children, into the soul where my God rests, and into the joys of my life, choosing to live and not survive, as life hits me with her 2x4, right between the eyes. I encourage you, my reader and friend, to find the God who has created you, to chose to walk the path that is quite narrow but so much more full of love and passion and empathy and understanding, when life hits you between the eyes. Live life and leave the surviving to others.
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