NO, NO, NO

So many of us in our lives have came to that point when we began our search for a mate, a partner, a spouse to spend our lives through eternity. And as our marriage grew, so did our desires, and the eventual desire to add children to our family. After conception, we share our news with our family and friends, begin to read our books, take our courses, prepare the nursery, have our showers, buy what we and the baby will need, and celebrate the eventual birth of our new baby child. We care, protect, love, and wait for those exciting days when our child will begin to coo, roll, crawl, and utter those first words. Our little angel looks up to us one day, in his post-infant toddler stage, and firmly states, “NO”.

And the world of “no’s” begins, from the mouths of our baby to the attitudes of toddlers to the defiance of preteens to the rebellion of teens and on and on. We grow up and begin to experience the reality of the “no’s” of the world, from teachers, from those we are interested in our dating pursuits, from parents, from banks, and from companies and bosses. The “no’s” continue to greet us at unexpected and unwanted times. The “no’s” offer us opportunities to hone our feelings of resentment and victimhood, or provide us the wisdom to learn to cope and grow in life.

The “no’s” in our lives are like speed bumps on our journey, the roads we travel in life. They give us opportunities to slow down, think, make better choices, and change the directions in our lives, or to wallow in our own pity and cry out in anger, frustration, and distain. It becomes our choice as how we interpret and respond to the “no’s” of our lives. Do we embrace and learn or regret and yearn; prosper and grow or yell in anger? How often do we buy into that belief pattern that we have no choice, that it’s not our fault?

Parents tell us no because it’s in our best interest. Teachers tell us no because they know the answer. Friends tell us no because they know it’s not in our best interest. And partners tell us no because they desire more for us. So many no’s to experience in our lives, so many opportunities to gain wisdom, so much wasted resentment. In all that we must experience, our greatest strength and most powerful act we have is to pray to our God for help. And when we fall to our knees and cry out to God for help, He wraps us in His love, comforts us, and at times, in a loving manner, tells us “no” as well.

In life, the “no’s” from God can often seem the most confusing and hardest to accept. We expect that God will meet our needs and deliver us from our pain. It is hard for us to accept that walking in our pain may just be our deliverance. We struggle to accept that God will not remove our pain. We become angry that we do not get what we pray for. In our frustration, anger, and pain, we throw our bodies to the ground, gnash our teeth, pound our fists into the floor, kick our feet, and scream and yell. In a matter of time, we regress back into the children of our past and throw our fits, become victims, and blame the Father.

In my own life, I am not pleased by the “no’s” of God. I am not satisfied with His wisdom and desires for my life. I so want my selfish needs to be satisfied. And when I calm down, when I’m exhausted from my tantrum, I crawl back into the arms of my Father and rest peacefully, hear His voice, know His wisdom, and begin to make the changes He desires for me, no longer focusing on my selfish desires, letting my view of no be His view of yes. God’s “no’s” are the yes’s we cannot understand, the choices that we cannot perceive, and the way of the Father that is difficult to comprehend. I challenge you my friend and reader, to listen to the “no’s” of your Father, realizing His no’s are to guide you, to love you, to help you to become what He has desired you to be, to bring you to His yes. Stop resisting His “no’s” and begin to adjust your life to meet His Yes.


(The writings in this post are random thoughts and observations and are NEVER intended as professional or personal advice. Take what works and leave the rest. For information on mental health and/or substance abuse help, visit http://www.rodneyvalandra.com and refer to the links page.)