The Family, Not The Law

A factor that is part of the Christmas season, whether it is one of joyful anticipation or worried concerns of anguish, is in-laws. Some we travel to see and some travel to see us, or both, in the same season. Some of us are blessed that we have grown from an attitude of “us and them” to us as a family, by blood or law, the meaning being the same. Others have the continued emotional and behavioral struggles of “us vs. them” encounters which affects the majority of personal relationships in a family unit. Such struggles can rock holidays in all ways but the good ways.

In a bigger sense of a religious world view, we are at the same time all related and all adopted into the same family. Paul tells us in Ephesians that we are “adopted as His sons through Jesus Christ”, telling us that God has adopted us as his children, having full birthright as any natural born child. Passing a church today, a sign read, “Advent is a time to reclaim our inheritance as children of God”. Have you found yourself forgetting this reality, the true significance of the Birth of Christ, and the promises that were to follow, including our complete adoption as children of the King?

It is so easy to label that person or this person as adopted or an “in-law”, somehow calling them “family”, but not giving them the real significance of family, tied through law as significantly as tied through blood. It is so simple to attack one of those “family” members, because after all, “they’re just adopted, they’re just in-laws”. How sad it is how easily we deny others the rights of being our true family and embracing all they have to offer to us, to the quality and future of our families, and to realize that before they became in-laws, before they became part of our families by law, they were our brothers and sisters through the blood of Christ.

This Holiday Season, this Christmas, spend more time before your God before you spend time before your in-laws. Realize that the words of resentment, hostility, and disrespect you throw at those brought into your family through marriage and law are direct insults spoken to the Father, who through His sacrifice has united us all as one blood, one family, through and in Christ. Take time to realize who you are speaking to. Implement healthy boundaries when necessary, offer forgiveness when needed, and seek forgiveness where appropriate. This Christmas, keep the love of the Father in sight, and pray that His love will grow into you and through you, to all those you spend this Christmas with.

(The writings in this post are random thoughts and observations and are NEVER intended as professional or personal advice. Take what works and leave the rest. For information on mental health and/or substance abuse help, visit http://www.rodneyvalandra.com and refer to the links page.)