Walking The Journey

The life of us humans is full of choices, and their related consequences. We do not always like the consequences of our choices, and in our pride, ignorance, and/or stubbornness, we often refuse to accept the consequences of our bad choices, repeating errors, hoping that continuing to do the same thing over and over will somehow deliver us a different result. Accepting the positive consequence of good choices is what we desire and can reinforce the habit of positive choices. Oddly enough, negative choices can be reinforced as well when we allow denial, rationalization, our low self worth, and our faulty and irrational perceptions to get in the way. In other words, when we live in a world of emotions, ignoring reality and refusing to adapt and adjust to reality, we are often doomed to eternal misery. This is not to say that emotions are negative, as Love must surely be the most significant and most sought after emotion we humans have. To Love is to truly be, united, complete, satisfie...

The family has all returned home, the turkey has been devoured and no more leftovers, all has been cleaned up, the travel is done…or at least, for now. Thanksgiving is over and the goal now is to lose the 5 pounds gained before the feasts of Christmas and New Years. Being with family during the holidays can have its ups and downs. The best part of being with family is the stories. All families have stories and all families like to tell their stories. Sure, some stories get more interesting with each passing year, and even with each passing decade. I enjoy the stories shared with family during the holidays, even if I’ve heard them all my life. Stories are a rich part of who we are as a people, as a culture, and as a family. They are the oracles of time, passed down throughout generations. Some cultures value the spoken historical stories more than others. Some families tell stories of struggles, overcoming obstacles, first loves, memorable events, and the passing of loved ones. My chi...

The turkey, and everything that goes with it, all set up, ready to eat, ready to gain that extra few pounds, belt loosened and pants with the expanding waistband on, visions of a long afternoon nap on the couch as sounds of college football ring in the ears, family surrounds, both functional and dysfunctional; it must be Thanksgiving. We focus on the food, the joy of seeing family we like and trying to maintain with the family we’re not quite as fond of, spending the day like every other Thanksgiving. The day, the beginning Holiday of the Holiday Season, followed by Christmas and New Years, comes and goes, and many forget to reflect on the meaning of being thankful. Life being what it is, doesn’t deliver only gains and success, but intertwines struggles, pain, disappointment, and the like, throughout our lives. We have become a culture that is obsessed with being happy, relieving pain, avoiding discomfort at all costs. Take this pill, drink this liquid, do this exercise, pra...

An infant is just that, an infant. His primary focus is basic survival, to eat, drink, be clean and warm, and most of all, to be loved. As he gains awareness of self and environment and as his body grows, he begins to crawl, exploring his world. He later learns to walk, and then, all changes for him and his family. Walking turns to running and the race to grow up begins. Infant to toddler to child to teen to adult and eventual senior living. In Greek mythology, the Sphinx asked a riddle of travelers. If the traveler failed to solve the riddle, then the Sphinx killed him/her. If the traveler answered the riddle correctly, then the Sphinx would destroy herself. The riddle: What goes on four legs in the morning, on two legs at noon, and on three legs in the evening? Oedipus solved the riddle, the answer being man, who crawls on all fours as a baby, walks on two legs as an adult, and walks with a cane in old age and the Sphinx destroyed herself. We as humans jump oh so early into the r...

On a dark and clear night, a man was traveling with many children down a rural unlit highway, on his way to a retreat center, for a youth filled weekend. The long stretch of highway ascended up the rolling hills of Kentucky and descended down the other side, driving up the peaks and down the valleys. The night, even though early in the evening, was especially dark, being late fall, with no gas stations or stores along the roadway; dark and lonely yet loud with the voices of youth ringing throughout the van. The van was filled with joyful voices of youth one minute and fearful excitement the next, as smoke began to billow from under the van, filling the valleys with what appeared to be fog in the blackness of night. The needle reading the vehicles temperature quickly reaching the red of being overheated, and then surpassing the red mark and screaming to the driver, “I’m dying, pull over”. But the man behind the wheel continued to force the van forward, searching for a safe haven for t...

Have you ever pondered how wonderful it is that you don’t remember everything that has happened in your life? Sounds odd, doesn’t it, but imagine if every single event, every trauma, every joke, every time you skinned a knee, every rejection and every joy, every tear and every laugh, were vivid and active in your memory, every second of every minute of every hour of every day of every month of every year, and on and on. Sounds pretty overwhelming, doesn’t it. Now, I realize that some memory loss is unwanted, coming from growing old, dementia, and various illnesses and diseases. Those types of memory loses come unwelcomed and unexpected. We try to delay these loses as long as possible, through nutrition, exercise, vitamins, and other various attempts to slow the aging process down. Funny how we as humans so often desire to not be human, to be as gods, attempting to avoid the inevitable humanness of physical aging and death. And then there is memory loss that occurs throughout the ge...

There was a man who had given much thought to what he wanted from life. He had experienced many moods and trials. He had experimented with different ways of living and he had had his share of success and failure. At last, he began to see clearly where he wanted to go. Diligently he proceeded to find the right opportunity. Sometimes he came close only to be pushed away. Often he applied all his strength and imagination only to find the path hopelessly blocked. And then at last it came. But the opportunity would not wait. It would be made available for a short time. If it were seen that he were not committed, the opportunity would not come again. Eager to arrive he started on his journey. With each step he wanted to move faster, with each thought about his goal his heart beat quicker, with each vision of what lay ahead, he found renewed vigor. Strength that had left him since his early youth returned and all kinds of dormant desires reawakened within him. Hurrying along he came upo...

Doesn't it feel great to accomplish something, to meet that goal, to make some progress? After 2 years, I finally finished my deck, with great help from my son. All last winter I felt sorry for my little dog and my big greyhound, slipping and stumbling, going down and up the deck, slipping on the moss covered steps, which can become quiet slick when wet. I also felt somewhat defeated looking at the unfinished deck over the past 1-2 years, wondering “why didn’t you get that done”. Accomplishments are great things that boost our self esteem and our concept of self. In life, there are many dreams and desires, and not all come to fruition. Some dreams are passed by because in time, they are no longer important, no longer desired to achieve. Other dreams just wither away with the sands of time. Some of our dreams, our goals, are difficult and have deep routed struggles, like the deep root of a weed that flourishes, remaining green, in the hot summer as the grass around it browns ...

Have you ever noticed, while driving, minding your own business, enjoying the drive, how easily motorists can become angry. I remember a friend many years ago telling me that as he was driving, a man cut him off, and in my friends anger, he showed the other driver one of his fingers for that other drive to observe. My friend told me that what happened next surprised him, the other drive pulled up a gun, pointed it at my friend, and waved his gun at him in much the style a mother would wave her finger at her children, pointing out displeasing behavior. Needless to say, my friend no longer displays his one finger in agitation to other drivers. Anger is not a destructive emotion on its own. It is when anger becomes coupled with rage that it becomes dangerous, either in a verbal, emotional, or physical manner, or even more commonly, in a manner that includes all three. Anger can be an emotion that is so easily passed down from generation to generation, like an old family heirloom. Rejec...

You’ve heard that old saying about good intentions; the road to hell is paved with them. My life can be so full of good intentions. I plan on this and that, to call him or her, to visit this person or that person, go here or there, and never quite achieve it. And then again, like Thomas Merton is known for saying, and I paraphrase, I don’t always know where I’m going and even if I’m going in the right direction, but at least I’m going and trying. Relationships are very much most significant with me. I have to admit that my failure to follow through with intentions is very much tied to my desire for relationship and my belief that nothing is more important than relationships. I feel blessed that I was raised on Indian Time, even if the residual effects are an occasion habit of being late. Indian time is I’ll get there when I get there, focusing more on relationship with the Creation versus time. In discussing this with my mentor one day, who is African American, she laughed and said, ...

The eyes of a child are like windows of authenticity, lacking the influence of the world, untainted by its reality. Their eyes are full of wonder, and the emotions that shine from them, whether that emotion is pain or joy, is pure. Their eyes search our eyes, looking for security, hope, love, and comfort. Their eyes look for assurance, for guidance, for acceptance, and for love. The love of a child is just as pure, in its most simple form. There are no demands, no conditions, no stipulations, just love. When we witness the love a child has for its creature of comfort, whether that is a blanket, a teddy bear, a stuffed dog, whatever that creature might me, we see the love a child has in his best friend. In time, that love and trust and comfort is passed on from his bear to his parents, to his siblings, to extended family, and eventually, to a family of his own. Love is such a powerful emotion, and at the same time, an equally confusing emotion. There is so much in life that affirms ...