Difficulty in the Need

Walking through life discovering our wants and needs and how to get and obtain them can be a tricky road indeed. In the words of the great philosopher Mick Jagger, “You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, well you just might find, you get what you need.” We probably get those two things mixed up quite frequently, the wants and the needs and the differences between them. In reality, I suppose they often appear to be the same thing.


A want is a desire for something or someone, like a new car, a certain lifestyle, children, a loving spouse, a nice house, or the family best friend of a dog. A need is more a necessity in order to live life, to function, to survive, such as oxygen, food, shelter, clothing, and income. The fine line between these wants and needs seem to occur on deeper levels, such as spiritual, emotional, and relational needs and wants. The line becomes even more gray and foggy when one takes into account ones culture, norms, expectations, experiences, perceptions, and interpretations.

In writing and thinking about acceptance, I often view acceptance as enduring limitations, understanding what can and cannot be changed, and realizing the difference. I have to wonder if acceptance is also about the difficulty of embracing acceptance. Acceptance brings with it difficult emotions and realizations of what is not good for us but what we still desire, or who is not healthy for us yet who we still desire, of situations we find ourselves in that we must now accept that reality and learn to live within the consequences, both negative and positive, as they do exist together, and not fall into survival but learn to continue to thrive and live within boundaries and limitations.

I am not saying give up as in accepting defeat but rather embrace acceptance as a driving force to live a healthy and meaningful life within the reality of our reality. If we take Mick’s words to heart, we might find that in not getting what we want we might realize and appreciate that what we need to what we have. We all have dreams that did not come true, or mistakes we’d like to forget, but if we spend some time reflecting on what we do have, what memories linger in our brains, practicing gratefulness for how we have been blessed, we might just find, that we got and have what we need.

Realize that acceptance is not always easy, and in its difficulty, we can grow through grace, love, mercy, and yes, even through acceptance. Be blessed.


(The writings in this post are random thoughts and observations and are NEVER intended as professional or personal advice. Take what works and leave the rest. For information on mental health and/or substance abuse help, visit http://www.rodneyvalandra.com and refer to the links page.)

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